Tinder Annals: Mongoloid

You Love MeAnd he wore a hat
And he had a job
And he brought home the bacon
So that no one knew
He was a mongoloid
Mongoloid, he was a mongoloid
Happier than you and me
– Devo, “Mongoloid”

The date took place at a bar. We sit at a table, across from one another.

Approximately 5 minutes in, I learn that my date went to (insert name of prestigious east coast design school here) and studied with (insert name of famous person here.) He eventually landed a job at (insert equally prestigious edgy advertising agency) – but not until he traveled and “experienced” (insert names of various countries that I’ve never even heard of.) Then, he pointed to the label on a beer bottle and said, “I designed that.” He pointed to a pair of tennis shoes that a person was wearing, “and I designed those.” And then, modestly, “just the color scheme.”

My date took a sip of his craft beer and stared into my eyes – waiting for me to talk.

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