Dating Tactic # 568: Stop at Nothing to Get the Love You Know You Deserve

photo 3Right now you are looking at a picture of my face, asking it: “Heather, how can I possibly get the love that I know I deserve?”

HOW indeed. Let me help you. Everyone knows that I’m Old Fashioned when it comes to romance. Similar to my predecessors… Yeats, Baudelaire, Charlie Sheen, I believe in sending a strong, memorable message to the object of my affection – so they know EXACTLY what my intentions are. (Read: to love him super hard, forever, till death do us part, etc.)

How do I stand out from the crowd and shine bright like a diamond? Simple: VALENTINES. Continue reading

Dating Tactic #567: Don’t be a Novice and Put “Real” Names in Your Phone

name cardsIf you’ve been practicing Dating Tactics #’s 1-566, you’ll run into a problem: Too many numbers in your phone. Face it, there are too many Marks, Robs, Matts, and god fucking forbid – dudes named Bruce and Craig.

Don’t be a novice and put a person’s actual name into your phone. Instead, put something in the phone that will help you remember WHO THEY REALLY ARE. For example, certain names can reference Relationship Styles (Examples: The Neglector, Dead Shark, The Dirty Alaskan.) Continue reading